From "the outside looking in", you have a unique view.
No jade, complete intake - which could questionably take large amount of time to absorb and really look from several perspectives.
Always one for tradition - understood and appreciated from builder aspect.
Digging back, my experience was growing a family business into an almost household name - our product making the crossover into a popular Discovery Chanel show and all the Forza games. As I am told today, another spawn of Fastest Street Cars has been born where the guys are hands on and will kick some butt.
Because of my background, conventions made sense as a starting point in order to connect with others.
This is what we did to build that small biz. Yes, people "borrowed" ideas - including ourselves. When GM contracts you to be their supplier - and then drops you to copy - well, this is success. Well for me anyway ha
It made sense initially to connect with others when starting my initial journey. This was my love - not only haunts, but making that connection - sharing the love.
Unfortunately starting on a new path, I was naive to believe that wave makers always create strength. And also naive that I was the only pondering another way. Was just anxious to escape what had became an endless marathon of competition - not only with the outside world, but also now among ourselves.
On the flip, writing provided a new path back to who I once was - Mother, Wife, Entrepreneur, Honor Student. The truth is really, it opened my eyes to a multi-dimension path within other trails that I had to adventure.
Reflecting back, and yes, I can blame the circumstances that I encountered - yet, I learned some heafty mistakes.
My tables were not always branded - first mistake. That current timing put me in a headspace to create headpieces, pumpkins and promote great reads. As fun as they were, I came out of the show tired and with the understanding of if it was just a decent show for myself or if others felt the same.
I jest that I do enjoy a good challenge to my inner Karen when tired or hangry.
Many times in the beginning of our journey, travel outweighed monetary input.
Which let me say I do not disagree with supporting businesses within communities or serve them.
I enjoy it. My thoughts regarding are a nice balance. One lesson that I learned early on is never sacrifice your self when helping others.
This is not selfish or bitchy - I am an Empath and really - really - enjoy supporting those who make our community's lives more enjoyable in this - let's say depth of a world that we hang on to.
I had to break free of my circumstances when working with family and could have been nicer.
Again, enter Ms. K. Kent - cutting everyone off then bitching about how the world should be much better!
Well, it was. Karen had regrets after.
Fortunately for one of the Halloween Queens in the area, I am still a decent student and can create a happy place - for all of us.
In retro, I cannot say that all I reflected on after the split and fire has been reconciled, but I am the bigger Witch Bitch - and success..or at minimal Freedom - rules this Kingdom.
This journey now on the interior position, enjoys it's vantages.
When building, what I learned is that resources could be better directed elsewhere for my purpose. Attending shows could be overwhelming with major time consumption. It was common to contract Con Crud - WAY prior to covid. for this, I learned that keeping myself healthy - was Key #1. Sure, I fucking FOMO'd as FUCK(!) when missing something Amaz.
I never looked out for myself prior - this felt rebellious in a way.
Back to the conventions meant pulling all nighters quite often - my inner child often gleefully won that arm wrestle with crabby Karen. Was hot - this was needed. I loved every minute of wrestling not only with time - also with spirits and head nays that said fuck you. You're not meant for this.
Yes, I failed. Many times. But I am a lass of resistance.
And I also love watching our environment and community progress - as it should be. As creatives, we have been in a box for so long - this is astonishing and amuses me - I must say.
Back to conventions again, These events also meant building supply in the least amount of time. My outsider status bit me in the arse during this time - reminding me that I was not - yet - an artist. But this lass continues on - fuck that.
I would joke to my husband about how I imagined working in a large haunt was comparable. Time management became a must. Organization. And we did. Everything in and around my home - was organized. Fucking master.
At the time where it was all starting to flow - a nightmare of many a haunter with product came to visit - fire. Fire - Fire!
When looking back at this experience, I am still a balance of meloncoly and astonishment.
There were glitches everywhere in our environment - one would not think how it would hit close to home.
Right before the fire I sat in sadness watching Australia on fire. With my cats - who were stretching out on the couch I just purchased - not giving a shit. Hey, man Pay attention to me!
A week or so later - I can't remember at this time...it may come back. It always does - life moves so quick for me, I focus on what is relevant in that time period.
It was amazingly so surreal to go through the same transitions to the same elements that echoed back from the screen that I watched periodically.
Aside from my cherished - and amaz strong and brave - feline children, I felt no regret at loss. My son was ok. It would create a stronger man.
Transitions I experienced a few years prior after cutting back on drinkies and leaving the shop, left me a new found minimalist - aside from the DIY I was fond of. My demons were wrestled prior - and still yet after. Felt wonderful prior to the fire to shed many skins - had no idea how much more my life would change.
Yet, I will say that I am blessed in comparison with others.
I woke up daily, healed from Covid, tended to the land, built a haunt and made friends with animals and plants. Made elixirs.
My mother fell several times during this time and we lost many that we had once shared time with.
I am not able to complain - as my path has been guided from the stars.
I viewed the rebuild of our house as a foundational period. After shock and depression came excitement.
A new blank slate - and modifications could be made both immediate future and long term.
what could I take advantage of those newly learned time management and organizational skills?
- and hey, look here - the art skills were getting better. (Fuck yah!)
But I still had to question - the fire happened on unlucky St Patty's day - which btw Sainty boy - what did we do to you? We celebrated! Even my Welch arse paid trib - WTF?!
(A few months prior to the incident, I stumbled across a statue of Kali. Saged and brought her into her home. I requested change from the Gods/Goddesses - had no idea of what the Universe would teach us. Coincidence? Possibly - am a believer as only through this light I have made it out of the darkest times. Peacefully -
Did I mention that I get offtrack at times? Ha.
Well, September and October focus was spent on the haunt build for the yard - our plans of electric power prior to Halloween fell through.
But through this time, and the summer prior - it allowed a push of positive direction in a time of borderline depression. Had not been this sad since pulling myself out of a fog 5 years prior.
One thing I will say is that after partaking in some Jane, my inner demons are happy creatures - well as happy as they can be.
They are more tolerable and understood, which is really what they want.
When, reality's harshness has made a slight fade from the picture.
I also am a mega astro nerd, pull tarot and communicate with ancestors so I do have some solstice in finding stability even when it's a slight sliver. In fact, major respect. Until these last few years, we could not compare to the strength and courage shown - was always grateful for this. You know, there is always something bright to focus on if only for 5 minutes of time.
Will admit, slept much through the first few months. Much of this sleep was processing and dreaming of possibilities moving forward.
Knowing this bit of background, let us travel to a time of pre-combustion. Back to a time of socialites and community. Coming from a competitive background where many are inspired enough to blatantly copy a design that took months, years to develop - it is difficult for me to completely release into the thoughts that inspiration is king. Yes I was cocky - disclaimer, I was born with a mostly masculine chart - at my happiest and not very amusing wit going.
Looking back after a bit, I realized my observations were a little off in the beginning. Appreciated the journey and work they poured into these projects themselves. In many ways, they were like us a small business climbing.
But my friends, this thought train is both a blessing and curse. We live in a time of many manifesting possibilities - true, these come through hard work - but the trail is shorter.
Mostly due to those who made it happen prior. I have admiration for their focus.
There was not much we could do in the realm of copied product, so it was always a battle wound for me. Rather than collaborating with others, the initiative was taken - at times - snuff out the ideas that came prior. Is this not the focus of "inspiration?"
I had hopes that the journey in haunterprenourship would be somehow different - it was not. And if I am being honest, neither was my old self in the beginning of this journey.
It only speedup as I started to dig in - make product one weekend, see it with "interested parties" the next. And conveniently, these were friends of those who ran a show that you were paying hundreds of dollars to rent a space from. Hmmm....
Stopped doing these shows. Along with major travel plans - mostly to build up this little fort but also to remove myself from situations and rethink.
Was never good at playing the socialite game, only got worse the more cloud I cleared away. Realism were never happy moments for me.
But, I did learn to eventually become more flux with these observations and not only pivot when necessary but set aside some beliefs regarding this competition.
For me this is and was never a journey about working working day and night - ooh! - this was to become the most efficient in my processes and relevant to the community.
Staying behind while others traveled to shows not only saved me a likely second round with Covid - man, we had a rollercoaster ride in 2020. But cash I could now use to focus on writing. I provided our writers with a commission based on projects taken. While our team wrote, time on my end was spent developing ideas that I had no time to spend on prior to that moment.
A future blog likely calls for additional thoughts regarding imitation and inspiration. These were never my observations entirely - even prior to making commitments to shows I heard from artists at craft shows who shared the same affliction. Like any warning, I should have heeded. But again...I never listen.
Would have saved me a bit some frustration - but as always I enjoy creating additional challenges for myself.
I only get stronger, evolved and creative as I go.
